Whether it’s at work or at home, it’s our relationships that make up quality of our life experience. Many of us work on our “soft skills” to be better in our communication and relationships. But guess what’s more important than soft-skills?
In my book, From Conflict to Courage, I refer to this as the “inner game.”
With soft skills you learn techniques and tactics—how to say things, how to watch your tone, and how to listen for understanding.
The inner game “mind skills” is about mastering your interpretations and managing your monkey mind before applying the soft skills.
You can resolve almost any conflict when you decide to shift your interpretation and the way you “see” the other person. No matter what skills you learn, if you see the other person as less than you, you’ll struggle.
If you think someone is out to get you, that’s what you’ll experience. If all you focus on is the other person’s flaws, character issues or shortcomings, it will come out in your “energy” even if you use all the right words.
Very often resolving conflict is about how you see the situation, as well as the courage to initiate a difficult conversation, not just from tactics and tips but from a heart-felt intention to better the relationship and the organizational goals.
I have a specific coaching program for high level executives who want a thought partner to help resolve issues that are creeping into the culture. Reach out by email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s explore.