Learning to lead feels difficult for the same reason learning to dance does; you’re trying to perform before you’ve mastered the basics.
As a dancer, I’ve taken lessons in Tap, Ballroom, Latin, Lindy Hop, and West Coast Swing—and I see the same patterns in every beginner class.
Most beginners walk in carrying some level of insecurity.
They worry about being judged.
They feel clumsy.
They wonder if they’re holding others back.
And then there are a few who think they’re better than they are.
Leadership is no different. Every leader comes in with a different mix of ability—learning speed, coordination, confidence, and self-awareness. And they also bring different levels of desire and purpose, regardless of natural talent.
But here’s the distinction: Dancers understand something most leaders don’t.
1. The Basics Are the Foundation
In every dance class I’ve ever taken, we start with the basics, and not just once.
Over and over again.
At the time, it can feel repetitive—even unnecessary. Really great dancers keep returning to beginner classes to refine their fundamentals. Mediocre dancers avoid them—they think they’re above it.
I remember while taking a tap class, listening to the instructor walk us through the same foundational steps for what felt like the twentieth time. I was impatient. I wanted to get to the routines—the fun part, the impressive part. I remember thinking, “This is a waste of time.”
But then something shifted.
When we finally moved into a more complex sequence, the dancers who had dialed in the basics flowed. They stayed on beat. They adapted quickly.
The rest of us? We were a half-step behind, thinking too hard, missing cues, trying to keep up. That’s when it clicked: The basics weren’t slowing us down. The basics were the only thing making progress possible.
Leadership works the same way.
When leaders struggle, it’s often not because they lack intelligence, aptitude, or drive. It’s because they’ve skipped over the fundamentals:
- Setting clear expectations (Carity)
- Addressing issues directly (Difficult Conversations)
- Managing conflict without reactivity (Capacity)
- Holding people accountable to agreed-upon standards (Measurement)
- Coaching for improvement and follow-through (Development)
Without these basics and a few others, everything else becomes harder than it needs to be.
2. Dancing and Leading are Not Checklist Activities
No dancer ever takes one class and says, “I’ve got it.” But leaders do this all the time. They attend a workshop. They read a book. They take one curated LinkedIn course. They get a certificate. They check the box, and then they move on—assuming the learning is complete.
Even senior leaders fall into this trap. They send their managers to complete a course, and assume the skill is handled, after all, there’s a “certificate” to prove learning took place. So, they continue to invest in one-and-done solutions, only to wonder why months later, there’s an execution problem.
Dancing isn’t a one-class event, or a six-week workshop, and neither is Leadership. it’s a practice. Over and over. Whether it’s dancing or leading, the moment you think you’ve “learned it” is often the moment your effectiveness starts to plateau.
3. Mastery Requires Practice—Especially When It’s Uncomfortable
One of the most difficult dances I’ve learned is Samba. (While I took the leap to compete in Argentina, the truth is, I’m just at the very beginning and continue to take lessons.) What I’ve since learned from staying with it, is you don’t improve by watching. Watching can give you awareness, but not skill or confidence. In dance and in leadership, awareness without practice is just intellectual entertainment.
You improve by doing—awkwardly at first. You miss a few steps. You get off beat. You feel exposed. And then, slowly, things start to click. All the hard work and expanding your comfort zone start to pay off. You feel confident and proud of yourself for overcoming your barriers.
Leadership follows the same path. You don’t get better at difficult conversations by avoiding them. You don’t build clarity by hinting or hoping people “just get it.” You don’t develop presence by staying in your comfort zone.
You get better by practicing—especially when it feels uncomfortable.
The Bottom Line
There was a moment a few weeks ago on the dance floor when everything felt easy. The music, the connection, and the rhythm felt like magic. It all clicked. I remembered a time when this particular dance would have been uncomfortable if not difficult. I said to my dance partner. “Wow, for all the work we do and all the difficulties we overcome in class, when we dance like this, it’s a reminder of why we do it.”
If leadership feels harder than it should… if conversations feel awkward… if things feel out of sync…It doesn’t mean you’re bad at leadership. It means you’ve skipped the fundamentals and the practice that make leadership work.
Leadership, like dance, isn’t about knowing more. It’s about practicing what matters—until it becomes second nature.
And once it does? That’s when everything starts to flow.
