Have you ever had a problem you wanted to share, only to be interrupted halfway through by someone offering a solution you didn’t ask for?
I have.
I remember bringing up a challenge I was facing with a fellow consultant. Before I could even explain the full context, they cut me off with, “Just prioritize better, and you’ll figure it out.”
That was it—no follow-up questions, no acknowledgment of my concerns, no curiosity.
I walked away feeling dismissed, like my experience and perspective didn’t matter. Instead of feeling supported, I felt alone in solving the problem.
And I see this dynamic play out in organizations every day.
The Cost of Dismissing Concerns
Very often when leaders give curt responses it means they don’t have the bandwidth to bear someone else’s burden, or they just don’t have the skills to listen or offer coaching.
✅ You’re overthinking it.
✅ Just stop it.
✅ Let it go.
✅ It shouldn’t bother you.
✅ Don’t overthink it.
✅ Suck it up.
✅ Try to be more positive.
Well-meaning leaders may think they’re being efficient, cutting to the chase, or even offering tough love. But what they’re actually doing is eroding trust, disengaging their teams, and creating an environment where people don’t feel safe bringing up concerns.
Over time, this poorly thought-out advice has negative effects:
Lower engagement – When employees don’t feel heard, they stop contributing.
Reduced problem-solving – If leaders shut down conversations, they lose valuable insights from their teams.
Increased frustration – People feel unheard and undervalued, which affects morale and retention.
Why Leaders Default to Quick Fixes
Most of the time, when leaders dismiss concerns with a quick fix, it’s not because they don’t care. It’s usually because:
- They don’t have the bandwidth – They’re overwhelmed, stretched thin, and don’t feel they have the capacity to take on another person’s struggles.
- They lack the skill – They were never trained to listen, coach, or create space for real conversations.
- They’re uncomfortable with uncertainty – They feel pressure to have all the answers, so they rush to a solution instead of sitting with the complexity of the issue.
The problem? Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions for the best answers to emerge.
The Shift: Becoming a Radical Listener
One of the key lessons in my new online course, The Performance Coaching Model, is how to become a radical listener.
Radical listening isn’t passive. It’s an intentional leadership skill that transforms how you engage with your team. It involves:
Asking before advising – Instead of jumping to a solution, get curious. “What’s your biggest concern about this?” “What have you already tried?”
Validating, even if you don’t agree – “I hear you. That sounds frustrating.” This doesn’t mean you agree, but it shows you value their experience.
Holding space for the discomfort – Not every problem has an immediate fix, and that’s okay. Sometimes, people just need to process out loud.
Leadership That Builds Trust
Leaders who master radical listening build stronger, more engaged teams. Their people feel valued, they bring better ideas to the table, and they navigate conflict with more confidence.
If you want to explore how this can benefit your team, email me here.
And if you’d like to be notified when The Performance Coaching Model officially launches, take the Mastering Conflict Conversation Assessment and you’ll automatically be signed up for the waitlist.
Real leadership isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about meaningful coaching conversations. Let’s start having them.
