Why do leaders find some conversations to be so difficult? Sometimes they don’t have the skills. At other times, they just don’t like the emotions that are sure to arise when talking about performance or behavior. But what often stands in the way is are the hidden agendas lurking below the surface. If you don’t “clean your energy” before a difficult conversation you’ll stir up unnecessary drama.
There’s a saying “if you don’t know your intention before a conversation, you’ll know it afterwards. It takes courage to become aware of and admit your hidden intentions lurking inside.
Over the next few weeks I’ll be highlighting five hidden intentions to clean up before you initiate that difficult conversation with your teammate or employee.
Hidden Intention #1 The Intention to Punish
Do you visualize embarrassing the employee or bringing her to tears? If you find any pleasure in your employee’s discomfort it means you’re headed for the danger zone. You may have good reason to be angry, however resentment is a sign that your intention may not be in the right place. If you feel any ill-will toward your employee, practice some forgiveness before you initiate the conversation.
Stay tuned next week, and I’ll share hidden intention #2.
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See you next week!
Marlene Chism