Happy New Year! If you are like me, you’re thinking about the year and how you want to reinvent, create something new, or improve in some way. If you want to add value, consider getting rid of those things that don’t bring value to your personal and professional life.
My article Fourteen Things You Don’t Need in 2014 is meant to inspire you to think deeply about what you value and to live according to those values. Enjoy!
1. You don’t need to figure it out. The first step in any creative endeavor or in any reinvention is to ask yourself “What do I want?” The “HOW” always comes second. You don’t need to figure it all out until you know what you want.
2. You don’t need everyone to understand. Most of our arguments with other people come when we try to get agreement on something we’ve already decided. Make your choices based on your values and best interests and let others disagree without getting into drama.
3. You don’t always need to be the best. The operative word here is “always.” Let others have their moment in the spotlight. When it comes to your teammates, associates, or even your family think collaboration instead of competition.
4. You don’t need to always be right. The need to be right feeds the ego and many unnecessary arguments. Stand firm on your values and principles, but stop arguing over opinions, and small ideas that don’t matter.
5. You don’t need to keep talking. When you talk, you know what you know. When you listen you know what you know and you know what they know. Too much talking bores other people. Listening always gets them engaged.
6. You don’t need to take the bait. Take note of the triggers that keep you repeating patterns that get you distracted. Learn how to stop engaging when a co-worker, friend or relative baits the hook with a verbal disagreement, opposing idea or unfavorable opinion. If you quit engaging the flame eventually dies down.
7. You don’t need to hoard. Face the fact that you are never going to wear half of the old clothes in your closet, you aren’t going to finish the project that’s tying up space in your basement, and you aren’t going to use those old curtains that you have kept for the last fifteen years. There is enough. To make space for something new you have to get rid of the old.
8. You don’t need to criticize yourself. Make amends for your past mistakes, apologize where necessary and then take action to represent yourself the way you see yourself now. If you aren’t in your own corner, you have already lost the fight.
9. You don’t need negative gossip. If you wouldn’t say it in front of the person you shouldn’t say it behind their back. Let go of the need to pump yourself up by making others look bad. Disengage if someone tries to bait the hook. (See tip #6.)
10. You don’t need to prove your worth. You are here. You are worthy. You have value. You don’t need to over-deliver, out-shine, or out-wit to prove your value. Show up and give your gifts. When you fully own your worth it shows in confidence versus arrogance.
11. You don’t need to worry. Although it is human nature to worry, you don’t have to. You only have to accept the present moment. The next step is to identify your choices and do the next right thing. Worry is a waste of energy imagining a future that is not here. Use your imagination for how you will overcome versus what might happen.
12. You don’t need to live in the past. You can appreciate the gifts of the past. You can honor your ancestors, and you can learn from past mistakes, but the only moment you have is the present. Use your energy to course-correct or to make a new future.
13. You don’t need to hurry. You may need to do a better job of planning, delegating or setting boundaries. There is a difference between efficiency and hustle than the drama of always being rushed, unconscious and behind.
14. You don’t need to be careless. Carelessness comes from a lack of awareness or from being depleted from your basic needs. Take a breath. Get clear, and take care.
Marlene Chism is a consultant, national speaker and author of Stop Workplace Drama (Wiley 2011). Marlene’s passion is developing wise leaders and helping people to discover, develop and deliver their gifts to the world.
Marlene’s message is spreading across the country at association meetings, corporate retreats, universities and other venues. If interested in exploring speaking or training opportunities please call 1.888.434.9085
Excellent and timely insight and article. Thank you for the reminder that “To make space for something new you have to get rid of the old.”