The very nature of personal growth includes challenging old beliefs, changing habits, and crossing the comfort zone for expansion. Enlightened leaders continue to examine their beliefs, work on their habits and cross the comfort zone. When coaching or mentoring others for personal growth, here are seven ways to know whether they are willing to grow or not. Use this list to look at your own life as well. Here are seven signs you are not growing.
#1 Your Beliefs Haven’t Budged
You grew up in a certain religion and you would never consider another. You believe certain things about blue-collar people, white-collar people, gays, republicans, democrats, vegans and other categories that you put people into. Men are men. Women are women. You are right. End of story. No discussion.
#2 Your Way or the Highway
You aren’t curious about other people’s point of view. You spend energy trying to convince them to see your point of view. You really can’t understand why anyone thinks differently than you. You spend time of social media bashing other political viewpoints, misguided religions and wrong relationships.
#3 Your Habits Own You
You justify your bad habits like smoking, drinking gambling, overspending and porn. It’s harmless. It doesn’t hurt anyone. People should just stop judging you. The very fact that you fight so hard for your unproductive habits show signs of rotting instead of growing.
#4 You Value Comfort
You shouldn’t fix anything that isn’t broken” is your mantra for staying the same. You don’t want to learn anything new. You aren’t willing to change the diet even though you’ve been warned about heart disease and you don’t see any reason to get up a little early, or become more organized even though it would make your spouse so much happier. You are fine just the way you are, and if others don’t like it they can lump it.
#5 You Are Sensitive
Your feelings are hurt deeply and often. Maybe you don’t get your feelings hurt. Instead you are offended or you are always angry. Being offended and angry is just the flip side of the coin. Whether you’re hurt or offended the pattern is the same: It’s always about you. You constantly talk about what other people shouldn’t be doing and how you would never succumb to their level. “I would never do that” and “He should have” are the mantras of the offended and wounded. A sign that you have failed to grow is that you are either easily offended or super sensitive.
#6 Nothing Has Changed
There’s no achievement to be proud of. Life is pretty much the same. Same old bills. No real hobbies. You don’t really dream about achievement because you don’t want to be disappointed. You don’t dream because you say you don’t know what you want. The truth is, you are more committed to managing the pain of disappointment than risking your efforts on achieving what you really want.
#7 Success is Narrowly Defined
You have put success in a box. For you it’s about one thing only whether that be money, possessions, comfort, promotions or family. You don’t even see other levels of success in other areas of life. As long as there’s only one definition and you own it you never have to look in the mirror at areas where you fail to grow.
Real growth requires discomfort and a fair amount of change. Growth happens through life experience, education and through our connections to other people. Perhaps the greatest avenue for growth is through the conscious decision to learn more and be more. Challenge your beliefs, get out of the comfort zone, control your habits, grow a thicker skin, and expand your view of success, and you will turn the 7 Signs you aren’t growing into the 7 signs you are growing.