The very reason leaders avoid difficult conversations is because they don’t want to blow up, or don’t want to react to someone else’s defensiveness. In other words, they don’t trust themselves and don’t have the conflict capacity needed to manage the conflict.
When your employees experience you as “emotionally unstable” they start to lose trust. For example if you are defensive, prone to outbursts or initiate harsh or extra long emails.
What to do: Become more intentional about your communication. When you feel angry is not the time to shoot off an email or initiate a conversation. Give yourself time to process the feelings.
Instead of interpreting strong emotions as “the truth of a situation” or “it’s time to act” interpret strong feelings as an indicator that you need time to process the information. This gives you the space to create a strategy for how to address the issue.