Last week I said I was going to give you some strategies for taming the mismanaged mind. The mismanaged mind is the source of most of our suffering. Once you learn to “tame the beast” you can also lean how to coach your team. Here’s tip #1.
Notice the story
Your unmanaged thoughts become the story, or the narrative from which you experience life. In other words, the story you tell is the life you live. You can’t fix what you can’t acknowledge, therefore the only way to shift the narrative is through awareness. If you don’t yet have the ability to notice your thinking, pay attention to your conversations, especially the ones about yourself.
How do you talk about yourself? Listen to the first two words, “I am.” I’m so stupid. I’m so clumsy. I can’t dance even if I tried. I’m not this or that. Listen for clues that indicate a victim mindset, for example, “This would only happen to me.”
As a leader, listen to the language of your team members. If they constantly berate themselves or tell a story where they are often the unfortunate victim, you’ll need to offer some coaching support. This isn’t about telling people to “be more positive.” It’s about helping them shift their reality. There’s a saying in Narrative Coaching: “Your story is the source of your suffering.”
Stay tuned, and next week I’ll share strategy #2 for taming the mismanaged mind.
Best,
Marlene Chism
