Disagreeing Respectfully

Disagreeing is a natural part of leadership, collaboration, and daily life, but let’s be honest—it’s not always easy. And because it’s difficult, we often avoid important conversations, causing a ripple effect later.

In today’s society, we’ve increasingly lost the art of civil discourse, and without respect, we lose trust, collaboration, innovation, and the ability to solve problems together.

Too often, disagreements feel personal, leading to defensiveness and shutting down meaningful dialogue. But what if you could approach disagreements in a way that challenges ideas without disconfirming or invalidating the person behind them?

Here’s the good news: You can. The key lies in asking thoughtful, open-ended questions that promote curiosity and collaboration rather than conflict. Over the next four weeks I’ll be sharing one strategy and hoping you will try the tip and let me know how it goes.

1. Would you be willing to be challenged?

Disagreeing can feel risky, especially in hierarchical relationships. By asking for permission to challenge an idea, you set the tone for a respectful exchange. This question frames your intent as collaborative, not combative.

bulb Try this: “I’d like to challenge this idea because I think it could make our approach even stronger. Would that be okay?”

❌  Avoid: Jumping straight into your disagreement without checking their openness—it can feel aggressive and derail the conversation.

2. Are you open to hear another point of view?

This simple question opens the door to fresh perspectives while showing respect for the other person’s ideas. Leaders who foster this kind of dialogue often uncover blind spots and create space for innovation.

bulb Try this: “Can I share an idea that might complement what you’re thinking?”

x Avoid: Starting with phrases like “I disagree” or “That’s not right.” These can shut down curiosity and collaboration.

Try that and let me know how it goes.

To your success,
Marlene Chism

PS: If you need support with leadership development in 2025, or you’re looking for a keynote speaker for your association, please reach out for an exploratory meeting.