about the book


Unresolved workplace conflict wastes time, increases stress, and negatively affects business outcomes. But conflict isn’t the problem: Mismanagement is.

Leaders unintentionally mismanage conflict when they fall into dysfunctional patterns of aggression, avoidance, and appeasing.

The three reasons leaders mismanage conflict is due to the fear of emotions, the lack of skills development or the culture itself.

Resolving conflict requires the ability to initiate, engage in and stay with difficult conversations. This book offers techniques to increase leadership clarity, identify obstacles, and reduce resistance. In chapter seven leaders get a blueprint to facilitate conversations that uncover the hidden barriers to performance, improves performance and increases accountability.


Conflict Is Not the Problem

There are a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to managing conflict and keeping peace. When we say, “I don’t tolerate drama” and “I keep negative people completely out of my life,” we are in essence saying that by controlling outer circumstances and avoiding certain types of people, everything will be fine. I’m now convinced that these beliefs are an incomplete way of understanding conflict and our ability to expand enough to truly manage and resolve conflict. To manage conflict effectively, we need to redefine conflict, recognize our dysfunctional patterns, and then work on expanding our conflict capacity. Let’s get started. 

Conflict Capacity

Building conflict capacity is more than skills development, temperament, experience, or possessing the right DiSC score on a personality assessment. Building conflict capacity has three distinct but overlapping elements: inner, outer, and culture. If you have only one out of the three, you won’t be very effective; two out of three can be beneficial; but when you have all three, you’ll excel at dealing with conflict. 

My Hope For You

One of the most difficult aspects of leadership is managing conflict instead of avoiding it. My hope is that after reading this book, you will no longer avoid conflict but instead realize that conflict can be your greatest teacher and a catalyst for leadership growth.